A Tour of our Home

Welcome to our new home! When A. and I first started looking into moving in together last spring, I checked out about 20-something apartments and each one got turned down by my super picky boyfriend. After presenting him with so many options, it turned out that he simply didn't want to move so far uptown regardless of how much more space you get for your money while still remaining in Manhattan. He might have been used to living in a shoe box for the sake of location, but I'm not about that life. If I was going to be living and working in the same space day in and day out, I wanted to be comfortable and not go broke in the process.

This second time around proved to be much easier. Not only did he have to move (after two years of trying, his landlord finally sold his apartment), but he'd come to terms with what our combined incomes could get us in the Washington Heights neighborhood. It happened quickly: the viewing, both of us being instantly smitten, and then jumping on the application process then and there. I have to say that it's better than anything I'd seen earlier this year so I guess things happen for a reason. We couldn't be happier with our new home so how about we show it off a bit, okay? I'll start with my favorite room, the kitchen.

Kitchen

I've never really had a dream kitchen because I don't do that much dabbling in there, but I love this space. Every morning, it's so bright and airy and we finally have room to prepare meals together without bumping into each other and knocking things over. While ordering take-out was practically a daily ritual for us, now I can't remember the last time we ordered in. Clean up time is also much easier now that we have a deep sink and a dishwasher. As for the details, I think the subway tile backsplash is such a pretty touch and the cabinetry definitely had me wanting to move right in.

Dining Area

When we saw apartments further downtown, the kitchens were always so damn depressing. You couldn't even call them kitchens, but rather little cubby holes to remove your take-out food from the bag. In the Upper West Side, there was one place that had, no joke, about two square feet of space to step into. Absolutely not for me. I might not cook that often, but you'd better believe I'm going to have some elbow room when I pour myself a bowl of cereal so I was happy to see that this apartment had an eat-in kitchen.

Shortly after signing the lease, A. and I started window shopping for furniture. We both fell in love with the Blox dining table from CB2, but agreed to hold off and search for a cheaper alternative. After a month of comparing every other dining table to this one (and receiving some help from Santa), we decided to go for it and it just arrived last week. We paired the dark mango wood with white Henriksdal chairs from IKEA.

Bedroom

For some reason I'd forgotten the size of our bedroom after our initial visit and worried that all of our furniture wouldn't fit in it. It did and there's still space to spare. The room gets some great sunlight which is really nice, but I can't say I spend much time in there during the day. Like I mentioned before, all our walls are currently bare so I'm looking forward to searching for art prints and picking which of our family and travel photos will be sent to print.

Bathroom

The bathroom is still in progress as I figure out how to inject more color into the room. A vibrant shower curtain is usually an easy way to do that, but if you recall my boyfriend started suffering from a random onset of claustrophobia and requested clear curtains. I compromised with a patterned translucent option from Bed, Bath and Beyond. I'm also planning on hanging some nice wall art eventually, but for now it's pretty bright and stark in there.

Foyer

I like that our foyer/entryway area is still functional and opens into the living room, allowing the two spaces to pour into one another. We put in a super cushy Ektorp chaise, which was on sale at IKEA this past weekend, for sitting, lounging, the removal of shoes, and to serve as an extra bed for guests. It also makes a great reading nook when either one of us needs a little breather from the other, but doesn't want to completely retreat into the bedroom.

Living Room

I felt we were officially grown ups when A. and I went shopping for a couch. How adult of us, I thought! Then I was left to handle the chatterbox of a salesman at Bob's Discount Furniture on my own while he played with his cell phone and I realized that it was just me who'd crossed that checkpoint.

We wanted a couch that invited people to really get comfortable and a 2-piece set with a chaise was nice for that. Unfortunately, now I have to fight off sleep whenever A. and I are laying on the couch deep in conversation and admit that I've passed out on him a couple times. Bonus: there are drawers all along the base of the couch, which we use to store our games and throws.

Opposite the couch is where our future television will be mounted on the wall. When Santa blessed us with some funds, I pushed for a new TV, but then relented after realizing that a) a dining table is more important for entertaining guests and hosting dinner parties and b) neither one of us are fiends when it comes to watching TV so that could wait a little longer. As for that dream sound system A. had been wanting to build, I have to say that the Sonos wireless system is pretty amazing. The sound quality is crisp and we can browse and play our iTunes songs or stream music services and manage each individual speaker through the Sonos Controller App on our iPhones. He's slowly acquiring the various components at a discount through eBay and that "big ass subwoofer" I was worried about is actually pretty sleek.

By the way, A. bought those giant papasan cushions from Pier 1 last year and they're so deliciously comfy I might have also fallen asleep on those a few times. (What? I'm tired!)

Home Office

And finally, my other favorite room in the apartment and the one where I spend most of my time: the office. I really didn't expect us to land a place with an extra room and to be honest this isn't a true 2-bedroom apartment, but rather a junior 2-bedroom. This space was created by adding a wall and French doors to the living room and the previous tenants used it as a nursery. "Maybe you should keep it as one," said everyone but us. Since I can't conceive for several more years, an office space would be much more useful.

I'm so happy that I finally have space to not only do my writing, but also creative work for Porcupine Hugs. All my supplies are within reach and I have room to spread out, think, and create. Again, walls need a little oomph, but right now I'm loving the clean white space with pops of color. We went with IKEA Expedit bookcases in high gloss turquoise for both the office and the foyer and I tied it all together with these blue ombré curtains that can be seen from the entryway through the French doors.

So that's our new home! We still have a little bit of decorating to do and are considering painting an accent wall or two, but all of our major furniture is in, we've settled into our new routines, and can't wait to start hosting our friends. In fact, we're having our housewarming and my birthday party this weekend so I'm excited to celebrate these two milestones with the people I love. I'll be posting nesting updates and about my search for wall décor so please pop in with suggestions on where to search and what designs or artists you're loving these days.

Stay Cozy

It was seven degrees in New York City this morning (SEVEN DEGREES!) and all I can say is thank goodness I work from home. I had planned to swing by the post office this afternoon to drop off some Porcupine Hugs orders, but after seeing how everyone else was reacting to the frigid temperatures, I figured maaaybe it can wait until tomorrow instead.

I was also planning on writing about my search for wall art for our apartment (because our walls are looking hella bare), but then I thought maaaybe you'd like to see some pictures of our place first. So I spent the morning staging a little photoshoot in each room and can't wait to share them with you tomorrow!

Image: ruffledblog.com

{Monday Inspiration} Lesson Learned

The past year was a crazy one, there's no denying that. I found myself fighting battles I never even dreamed about and in spite of it all I managed to not only survive 2013, but accomplish some really wonderful things. Being diagnosed with breast cancer and then managing treatment, the emotions, and just life was more than I could handle sometimes. If I was complaining about juggling work and a social life before, this year turned made that struggle sound like a vacation. I was constantly exhausted and still, a year later, haven't fully recovered from surgery and radiation. Sharp shooting pains and sensitivity still occur and my medication gives me hot flashes that makes it hard to get a good night's rest.

I could have driven myself into a hole, but I had a life to continue living. It's funny, I handled cancer so much more calmly than I handled my breakup with Mr. First nearly six years ago. Maybe you do learn a thing or two as you grow older. Maybe I realized how silly it was to spend so much energy focusing on what went wrong rather than throw my hands up and reach for the next rung.

In the beginning, I was dead set against crediting my cancer to any good in my life. I didn't want to justify it or have anyone calling it a "blessing in disguise." I was too stubborn to let it change me even if it would be for my own good. In fact, a part of me would deliberately refuse to make changes (say to my diet, fitness, stress levels, etc.) just so that no one could say that cancer made my life better. Cancer sucks through and through, but it did turn out to be a giant lesson for me. I might have accomplished the things I did regardless of what my health was this past year, but the fact that I did the things I did while fighting cancer just proved that I can handle much more than I thought I could. I'm not really the sensitive weakling I keep portraying nor will every bump in the road throw me out of the race. I launched and grew Porcupine Hugs; traveled to the Dominican Republic, Burning Man, Cameroon; confronted the negative relationships in my life; had my income slashed in half just as the medical bills started piling up; struggled financially all year until I landed a new gig; worked on a struggling relationship over and over until we finally learned to live, let go, and love. It's an amazing realization to discover that you have this big capability to thrive in disaster when you've no other choice.

This past year might have been full of tears, but I think I still laughed more than I cried. I experienced some powerful moments, ones made all the more important to me because of the cloud looming over my head. I think it's because of that darkness poking about my life that I relished those rays of light even more. That's something I hope I never forget. And now when someone finds themselves in the same shoes I wore a year ago, my heart hurts in a way it couldn't before because it's a familiar terror.

In the next months, I want to keep carving new paths in my brain, ones that reinforce that I am strong, that I am capable of doing so much, that I don't have to succumb to the fears and the doubts that try to creep into my mind. I want to continue creating joyful moments for others and at the same time be okay with creating them for just myself. I'm important, I'm deserving, and I need to remind myself of that every day until it's no longer met with hesitance.

Image: thefreshexchangeblog.com

Minted Personalized Stationery + Giveaway

When it comes time to shop for the perfect announcement, birthday invitation, or wedding suite, it can be hard to navigate through all the choices available. Not only do you want to make sure the price is feasible, but that your personalized stationery truly represents who you are and the aesthetic you're seeking. Minted is just the marketplace for those looking to buy cards, art, and décor created by indie designers worldwide.

Designs are crowd-sourced through various graphic design challenges with the best selections then offered on the site. Both shoppers and designers help curate the site's offerings with their feedback and votes, which ensures that some really fantastic artists get added to the mix.

Now I'm nowhere near needing to shop for save-the-dates, but I have several friends who are tying the knot over the next year and this site offers such an easy way to make a beautiful statement. With their wide variety of styles including whimsical, rustic, modern, hand drawn and all out formal, there's really something for every bride.

Not walking down the aisle or birthing a little human? Minted still has plenty to offer that you can either keep for yourself or give as a thoughtful gift. You can personalize gift wrap, wall art, business cards, and pretty journals and customize bunting banners with photos and your own special message. And nurture that love of snail mail writing in your kids by treating them to their own stationery set with their name on it like mom and dad's collection.

GIVEAWAY: Minted is offering one Dry As Toast reader $50 to use in their shop! Just leave a comment letting us know what special moment you'd create personalized paper goods for and a winner will be announced Wednesday, Jan. 8. It's too late to send out proper invites for my own birthday (Jan. 11!), but I've been wanting to send out moving announcements and now that the holiday craziness is over and we're finally settled in, I think it's time to spread the word and our new address in a fun way.

CONGRATULATIONS: Vera Khule is this week's winner!

Images: minted.com

The Power of Empathy

I came across this video on my Facebook feed yesterday and wanted to share. It's about the difference between empathy and sympathy, narrated by research professor Dr. Brené Brown and animated by Katy Davis. Simply put, Brown says that "empathy fuels connection, sympathy drives disconnection." Empathy is about being vulnerable, putting yourself in the other person's place and really feeling what they're going through instead of patting them on the back and trying to put a bandaid on their pain.

"One of the things we do sometimes in the face of very difficult conversations is we try to make things better," Brown says. "Because the truth is rarely can a response make something better. What makes something better is connection."

After my diagnosis, I was treated to all kinds of messages from people. There were those who wanted to help, who cried along with me or even without me, those who came along on appointments and radiation treatments, who wanted regular updates on my status. In the beginning I lumped them all together, sympathy and empathy, because I just wanted to be in people's minds, I wanted them to hope for the best for me, I wanted to feel loved when I was feeling rather crappy. But after the fog cleared, I realized what kinds of messages I was craving and noticed that the ones meant to shrink the situation left me feeling worse. While I understand that it was done to ease my mind, there's no need to tell me that the tumor is probably not that big and that I'll be just fine when I'm still very much terrified.

We do it so often, myself included. We want so much to make someone feel better, but sometimes there's no way out but through and you just have to be there to hold their hand and walk alongside them if you can. Sympathy is keeping your emotions at arms length and saying, "That sucks, I'll be here if you need me." Empathy is plopping yourself right there next to her and bringing her in for a hug for as long and as many times as she needs it.