Apparently marriage is the new black.I know eight people who are currently engaged - eight! One is in the Caribbean to tie the knot this weekend and another just got her rock three days ago. I'll actually be attending two weddings in the fall and the "save the date" magnets have been staring at me from my fridge since the winter.
Now here’s the thing: I’m happy for these people, I really am – hooray for love and all – but when they tell me about the proposal and nearly blind me with their diamonds I can’t help but feel a wee bit…jealous. And then I feel guilty about that. But I know it’s just my bitter, selfish side wondering, “Why not me?” (I know, I know. “Because it’s not your time yet.” Blah.)
I’ve actually never been to a wedding for any of my friends. Those who’ve tied the knot had a quickie, went away or married while I was off at school. The only wedding I’ve attended was for an aunt who asked me to be a part of the bridal party just days before the ceremony. So there I was in hot DR barely wanting to dress up and go. Now I had to dress up, put on clown makeup and walk down the aisle. (Btw, I’m not kidding about the makeup. Our faces matched her dress.)
Oh here’s the kicker: I was la dama solitaria. The solitary bridesmaid, also known as the loneliest position in the entire party, which goes to a lucky single lady I’m guessing is supposed to follow in the bride’s footsteps. When the DJ introduced me at the reception, I’m pretty sure his words were something like, “And even though she is completely and utterly single with absolutely no prospects in sight, at least she still has the love of her family. May God have mercy on her soul so doesn’t die old and alone surrounded by cats.” Well at least that’s how I remember it anyway.
Anywho, I’m just venting here about the fact that I clearly missed the memo that 2009 was the year of the engagements. Can’t there be some sort of cap on the amount of proposals allowed in one year? And I know these feelings will come up again when the invitations start to roll in and I have to RSVP +0. Flashbacks of high school prom will surely follow.
“You need a gay boyfriend,” my friend said yesterday. Yeah, that would be a nice. A straight one would be even better.
Image: hotref.com