During the dinner party a few weeks ago, the girls and I discussed Steve Harvey’s Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, which has been making the rounds among the group (though personally, I'm not really interested). Days later, Latina’s hookup blogger wrote about the same thing. One part caught everyone’s interest: Harvey’s thought that a woman should always put a man on a 90-day probationary period before giving him the benefits also known as “The Cookie.”Here’s what I think about all this: duh! This is nowhere near new. What Harvey calls "The Cookie," we’ve been calling milk for years. “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?” I think it all comes down to common sense. Sleeping with a guy you just met at a bar? Probably not the best idea unless you’re craving a one-night stand with a side of herpes. Do I think sleeping with a guy “too soon” will hurt your chances for longevity relationship-wise? Not always, but personally I believe if you give up the goodies before he can say, “My name is- what?!” he’ll wonder who else has enjoyed your carefree personality.
And then I wonder, does this also apply to oral? Or is that probably necessary so the passion doesn’t dry up before the 90 days are over? It’s not like I have much experience of my own to refer to, but I’m guessing people just play it by ear. That rules aren’t written in stone and don’t necessarily follow through from one partner to the next. We learn from previous experiences as we go and become more in tune with what fits us best – or what fits that current relationship best. Mr. First and I waited an incredibly long time thanks to several factors and sometimes I wonder if anything would have changed if it had happened sooner, but I also know that it felt right for us.
Maybe 90 days is too soon for some while waiting three months – instead of three dates – is hell for others. So tell me: should it just come down to what you’re comfortable with or should you always wait before getting down to business? And because what we say is not always what we do, how long do you usually wait?
Image: dreamcullen.livejournal.com