Last weekend, after a frustrated A. started cursing out his Internet service provider, I wondered if he'd ever physically hurt me in a fit of rage. And after he quickly squashed that idea, he asked, "Were you ever hit as a child?"
Oh was I.
I think I was a good kid, but that didn't really matter. If you so much as rubbed Mom the wrong way, made too much noise, a mess, or God forbid broke something, you were hit - hard. And with a family of five living in a one-bedroom apartment, her fuse was unbelievably short. There was constant yelling, fighting and punishing. My Latin mom never had a cute little "naughty corner." There were no time outs. Grounded? What's that? You simply got the crap beat out of you, cried your eyes out, maybe fell asleep from the exhaustion and then life continued.
If I ask her now she'd probably say I'm exaggerating, that she never treated us that harshly. She'd laugh it off and say, "¡Ay, Dorkys, please!" I know because I've asked and have come to the conclusion that she will never remember things as I do.
Crazy thing is my friends, siblings, cousins and I can all exchange war stories and laugh about it now. Most of us have suffered under the wrath of a mom wielding la correa (belt), la chancleta (house slippers), the remote or just about anything she can grab and throw. And they get creative, too. My most memorable punishment was kneeling on a cheese grater for what felt like forever. I can't remember the lesson or what I even did to deserve that. Maybe I broke another plate while trying to wash the dishes, ¿quien sabe?
I don't know what makes a parent totally lose it and hit her child mercilessly until her hand hurts...and then hitting the child because he made her hand hurt. What I do know is that I'm terrified of doing the same with my own and perpetuating a cycle that's generations old because when you grow up under physical, mental and emotional abuse, the tendency to do so is unbelievably strong. I'm scared that one little spank will be the gateway drug that unleashes some sleeping monster within and that once he's out it'll be a hell of a fight to tuck him back in.
Image: dalhartpolice.com