You know the real reason why I resisted learning how to cook and clean as a child? Because I didn't want to end up using my skills on a man when I grew up. (By the way, plan totally backfired as I can now barely cook for myself, but anywho.) I'd see my mom slave away for us and quickly figured, "Nope. Definitely not signing up for that one." What I didn't know was that someday I'd want to do those things not out of obligation, but because that nurturing side of me would finally wake up. And that it did during my relationship with Mr. First. Imagine my confusion when I actually wanted to help him fold his laundry and bake him crumb cakes. If I knew he'd get home from work late, I'd leave his bed made before I drove back home just so he could return to a tidy bed. I found myself doing all these little unexpected things for him because I knew it'd make him happy. Crazy thing was I felt just as happy knowing I was taking care of my boyfriend.
Seriously.
What ever happened to the tiny feminist who took a stand in the Ramos household and raised a fuss every time my sister and I had to wash dishes and sweep the house while my brother bummed around? The one who'd wondered (out loud, unfortunately) why couldn't Dad serve his own dinner? The answer usually resulted in frustration and crying tantrums: because that's the woman's role. And so grew my list of strikes against the "woman's role."
But now those instincts have rushed right back as I wonder if A. would like cupcakes with freshly squeezed lemonade. ¿Arroz con vegetales o un locrio de pollo? And oh no! Did he pack pjs for his trip? (Duh, vegetales and apparently Dickies pants are comfy enough to sleep in.) It seems no matter how many times I say I'll never tend to any man, relationships bring out the exact opposite in me. I simply want to make sure he's satisfied and comfortable. And so the goal lies in finding a man who wants to do the same for you.
I won't ever accept that women should be expected to handle the chores or that we're automatically supposed to dedicate our lives to cooking, cleaning, feeding, washing and serving. What I will admit is that we have a strong tendency to want to care for others - especially those we love. Our maternal instinct makes us feel good when we create comfort and happiness however we can. Besides, doesn't that sound so much better than "that's the woman's role?"