Sometimes It Just Seems Impossible

Me: Don't say it's gross.
Him: Then don't hurt yourself.
Me: But I can't stop, A.
Him: Yes, you can.
Me: No, I can't.
Him: Yes, you can. You have to.

That night he left me in a dream because I still hadn't controlled it. And I'm scared that one day it'll come true because right now keeping these nails so super short is doing little to keep my determined hands from doing what they wish.