American Eagle Outfitters Campaign Gets Real

Have you seen American Eagle Outfitter's new aerie campaign? The brand's lingerie collection has launched its own "real women" movement à la Dove by featuring models without airbrushing away blemishes, stretch marks, tattoos, folds or other "imperfections. Granted, the young women they chose are still gorgeous, but at least the the company is featuring them just as they are without making them look even more unrealistic like the lingerie models we're used to seeing.

While I get that lingerie companies like Victoria's Secret and Agent Provocateur aren't just selling a product, but also an ideal sex image to go with it, when a company's target audience are teens still learning to love the skin they're in, it's important to show them the difference between what's natural and what's manufactured in ad campaigns. How powerful would it be if they could see the before and after images side by side? Even better: if society just moved past this need for perfection and the unrealistic expectations placed on women and their bodies altogether.

A few nights ago I stumbled upon Hungarian musician Boggie's music video for her latest song "Parfüm." You might not understand a word and she just sits in place through the entire piece, but watch as her video editor retouches her skin, eyes, and hair and gradually transforms the singer from what she normally looks like into a "picture perfect" star. It's crazy how retouching can make any imperfections disappear, leaving our young to believe that this is how some people wake up in the morning. And not just young women, but adults, too. According to a study conducted by cereal brand Special K for its Fight Fat Talk campaign, 93 percent of women participate in fat shaming and making negative remarks about their own bodies. Some do it because "they feel it's better to criticize themselves before others do so" while others admitted to engaging in fat talk when their friends do and not bothering to change the conversation when the shaming goes on.

So you have to think: when and how did we learn this? Why do we think it's okay to tear ourselves apart and convince ourselves we're just not pretty enough?

P.S. Dove debuts short film "Selfie."

Images: ae.com/aerie

{Challenge} Change Up Your Routine

Life can start to get a little rutty when you're doing the same thing day in and day out. Like you're fastened to some conveyor belt of wash, rinse, repeat until you feel you're about to burn out. That's usually when we go off on vacation, relax, and try something new for a few days only to come back to our regular lives and check right back into the monotony. Studies have shown that changing up your routine is a good way to keep your mind challenged with new stimuli, more engaged in the activities you're doing, and improves memory retention. There have been so many times when I'll be going through the motions only to be interrupted by something and then I'll either misplace an item I was holding or completely forget what I was doing because my mind was just not along for the ride.

So why don't we challenge ourselves to mix up our routine this week? It can be big or small, but you might find that breaking your routine will help your brain focus on the present moment rather than slipping into autopilot. You might even discover new sights, people, tastes, or sounds you like and new inspiration that spark your creativity. Regularly give your brain different input and who knows what ideas might pop out. Below are 15 ideas you can try out this week:

1. Brush your teeth while holding your toothbrush with the other hand.
2. Give yourself enough time to take and explore a different route to work.
3. Change up the order in which you do your tasks.
4. Try a new hairstyle or an outfit you wouldn't ordinarily choose.
5. Say yes more often if you always say no. Learn to say no if you always say yes.
6. If you're self-employed, change up your work hours or days.
7. Smile and say hello to a stranger.
8. Try a new recipe for dinner or order something new from a familiar menu.
9. Wake up earlier and go to sleep earlier or pull in a late night and sleep in the following morning.
10. Call a friend you have a text message relationship with or send some snail mail.
11. Unplug for an entire evening and nestle in with a book or a hot bath instead.
12. Do something that forces you out of your comfort zone.
13. Go to the gym before work instead of after or vice versa.
14. Block social media from your phone and computer during working hours.
15. Take a day off and do anything you want...or absolutely nothing.

Image: infelice.tumblr.com

Let People Change Without Bringing Up The Past

Changing is hard enough on its own without also having to deal with those who want to keep reminding you of who you were. How can we expect people to improve and be better if we keep digging up their past?

It's not an easy thing for me to change. Not only do I have to contend with 30+ years of conditioning and neuroses, but also my insecurities of how it would seem to others if I started acting differently. I like to seem like a smooth ride so even if I'm spiraling downward in the middle of some social situation and want desperately to snap out of it, I won't because I don't want to come out of left field with my sudden mood change. Yes, even if it's for the better.

This also goes for my personality in general. I've always felt like I've had these roles to play and continue do so even after I've grown out of them because I feel it's expected of me. With family, I'm the quiet, sensitive, brooding type who could get sad and/or frustrated at any moment. I hold things inside only to unleash it all when it finally bubbles over the edge. With friends, I'm the snarky, sarcastic one with a mean streak with grad school classmates going so far as to say that I was the girl without a soul. I laughed along because at least I was being noticed for something instead of sticking to the shadows.

Over the years I've realized that I'm happiest when I'm none of those things, but rather when I'm confident, silly, loving and carefree. Yes, I still have a mouth on me, but I'm also a mush ball. And it all feels quite nice.

The trouble comes when I hang out with people who met me during a certain phase and want to hold me to that Dorkys. How hard it is when I muster up the guts to let my new traits through - the one that now likes affection, experimenting and being open to new adventures - only to be met with incredulousness and teasing. No matter how playful the comments, my knee jerk reaction is to retreat, defend and hide that piece of my personality I dared let out. And immediately after I think, "Why the hell am I so defensive when I'm just trying to be myself?"

So instead of reminding someone of how they used to be back in the day, rehashing a past offense they committed or pointing out a time when they were so opposed to whatever it is they're loving now, just let them be. Encourage them, ask questions, be curious, nurture their exploration, be kind. Don't be a hindrance to someone's personal development or try to trap them in a bubble simply because you can't handle a tweak to your dynamic. We're all just trying to figure ourselves out because who honestly expects someone to grow older without their personality, habits and interests also changing over time?

Hand Lettering and Watercolor Touches

I know this is super old because Christmas came and went ages ago, but I just came across Lauren Ledbetter's 2013 Year in Review on Pinterest this morning and have been swooning over the watercolor touches and hand lettering. Good gravy how gorgeous is this? I love the soft color palette and the little tidbits she highlights about her life, travels, and career like purchasing 29 new typefaces over the year. After stumbling upon this I'm getting the itch to go hunting for pretty new fonts to play with and breaking out the calligraphy kit once again.

Image: laurenledbetter.com

A Calm Life

When 2013 ended, A. wrote a Facebook status pointing out how his year wasn't incredibly interesting: he enjoyed working at his job, hardly traveled save for Los Angeles and a second trip to Burning Man, and then he moved into a new apartment with me.

"I'm settling down. Holy crap. I was never very interesting before, but now I am downright boring," he joked.

Now I don't think he's boring at all, but I understand where he's coming from. In fact, just days after we moved in together I started worrying that we'd become domesticated, get tired of each other, and lose the spark in our relationship, or that we'd start to see each other as roomies rather than boyfriend and girlfriend. I envisioned us doing the same things every day, cooking, cleaning, and tucking into bed early, you know, being Responsible Adults. It's crazy because I'd been wanting this for a long time and now that we had finally achieved it, I was suffering through a case of Fear of Missing Out, FOMO if you will. While I knew I'd enjoy this next phase, I was also thinking that our carefree days were behind us.

Now a month and a half in, I'm learning that it's okay if things have calmed down for a bit. It's nice to have the stability and less stress in my life. We might not be out and about every evening, but we're slowly creating our home and saving up for future adventures. We make time to hang out with friends both together and apart from each other and give each other space to breathe at home. I'm discovering new activities that bring me joy including those domestic chores that I always fought against. Just writing that sounded perfectly boring, but you know what? I'm content. I like getting my work done, keeping the house nice and tidy, and then tending to A. when he gets in from work. I'm not expected to do that last bit, but it just feels nice and he takes good care of me, too.

We're still navigating all this newness and how to nurture the relationship in this new light. I admit I was getting so consumed with fixing the apartment, holiday to dos with Porcupine Hugs, and my two jobs, that I was neglecting my boyfriend for a while. When you work from home, it's really easy to just work through the entire day, but last week we started powering down earlier to give each other time and affection before falling asleep. We'll cuddle, chat, play a game, or listen to music together, just something to reconnect at the end of each day. Besides, work will always be there ready to rile you up in the morning so it's nice to relish the calm whenever you can catch it.

How do you make sure to keep the spark alive while living with your significant other?

Image: etsy.com