Last night I had an appointment with T and after talking to her for a while she revealed that she just knew I had this destiny to do something great. That she had this feeling from the moment I walked into her office back in October that I had this light (subdued as it was) shining from within me.I don't know if it's all a bunch of baloney, but that was both touching and exciting. I've always wondered if I'd ever get to do something that will make an impact, now matter how big or small. Now her telling me this could turn it into a self-fulfilling prophecy (would I have done what I'm going to do if I didn't know I was meant to do something?), but it's great encouragement.
Right now I'm at such a turning point in my life and the changes are just picking up speed. T mentioned that I should enjoy this next phase in my life and that it will probably be about focusing on my work and honing my writing skills. And that's exactly what I intend to do. My responsibilities at work are growing and I'm getting trusted to do and write more. My freelance work is also getting better and even though I'm totally swamped right now, I want to do more! My goal is to reach out to three new editors over the next few days and see where that leads. I'm just trying to learn as much as I can and already I see the progress I've made. Of course, I still need improvement in many areas, but I'm grateful that at least I have the chance to learn and get better.
I'm also improving my outlook on life. Now that I've been getting out from "under the bushel" I'm realizing that it doesn't always suck out here. Yeah it isn't always so easy and yes I'll still moan and complain - old habits do die hard, you know - but things really aren't as bad as I've made them out to be. They're pretty good actually and I'm just now starting to walk confidently into the world.
So I don't know what my "great destiny" is or what my contribution to the world will be, but instead of waiting until I'm older or realizing what I'm supposed to do, I'll aim to contribute something small each day. I'll set my good deeds to fly out on the wind and maybe someday it'll ripple on to someone somewhere who really needs them. That would be enough for me.