Heidi has been one of my best friends since freshman year of high school circa 1996. Through good, bad, crazy, fun times she has been there to offer an ear, a shoulder, a hug, a reality check. She's also one of the people I've been able to count on throughout this long, tough year to help me get back up after a stumble. I'm so thankful that she's a part of my life - otherwise who would tell me the following snippets of advice:On whether I'll end up hating Mr. First...
Heidi: You won't end up hating him.
Me: How do you know?
Heidi: Because you hate how sad you feel. You hate how depressed you are. You hate that you can't be with him right now. You don't hate him as a person because he cheated or hit you or anything. You hate the way he makes you feel by not being there. And that's something that time will heal and when those negative feelings aren't there anymore all that will be left is him as a person. Not the depression or sadness or anger, just the person he is.
On missing him...
I mean really, sometimes we miss more the idea of what we had with someone than the actual person and sometimes it's bigger than just love, it's about missing having someone around. Or feeling like a failure because you feel like you didn't make it work. Sometimes it's about wanting to go back and prove to yourself that you can make it work.
On flirting...
Heidi: You have to flirt!
Me: Hell do I know about flirting?!
Heidi: You need to give them an indication that you want them to come. Flirting is easy. Just smile and have fun. Fun is gravitational; everyone wants to be a part of it. It's about getting out there to have fun and whatever happens...happens.
On getting back out there...
It's about meeting different guys. Allowing yourself to meet good ones and bad ones and not getting discouraged because you meet a few crappy ones. It's about living your life now and not letting your life pass you by because whether you and him get back together or not, you will regret the years of torture you put your body, mind and heart through. Life isn't a fairy tale and men aren't perfect - even though you and I are.
*****
So, who's your "Heidi?" And what advice has she given you recently?
P.S. Yay for "Four Christmases" with her tonight :)
P.S. Yay for "Four Christmases" with her tonight :)